Somebody once asked "why bother to continue".
Somebody once said "where you just continue for the benefits".
I know nowadays youngsters no longer sit in front of TV together with their family to catch the latest Channel8 9pm show. Everybody just gradually hide in their respective rooms the entire day/night. Occasionally, they do get out of their bedroom for toilet breaks, light snacks or to take something.
I'm hooked onto the Dream Makers that is currently showing at 9pm. (I used mobtv so I'm a few episodes ahead) Although I KNOW this is just a drama (fiction), part of me naively believes drama series are reflecting the reality in some ways, some how. Yes, I'm a well-known daughter/sister for hardcore love drama series. Since small, I love to watch those 爱情 show. I've always always wonder, how does it feel like when a guy is wooing me. How does it feel to have the privilege to make a decision between 2 guys. Of course I know simplicity is at its best, either do I wish to have those complicated relationships. (Ok I'm getting out of the point)
As shown, people always turn out to be the one that they never will be. "I hate 3rd party the most" Ending up to be the one who's breaking r/s. "How can one be so unfaithful when he/she's so good to you" Ending up to be the one who dump the good person. "I will definitely treat you well" Ending up to be the one who's taking his girlfriend for granted the moment she agrees to be his girlfriend.
Last but not least (the most common lie)...
"I promise I won't do IT again..."
... Ending up to be the one who is well-known as a heart-breaker.
Somebody once said "I won't abandon you for wealth, I'm not a 爱慕虚荣 person".
Yet when a real wealthy partner comes along... Greed is controlling your mind.
Why?
"I'm treasuring you, i'm not taking you for granted"
yet I don't feel that you're treasuring me.
"You expect too much"
"You're not even meeting the minimum requirements of my expectation"
"I promise this won't happen again"
"Your promises are not an assurance to me anymore"
"I don't wish to quarrel"
"I just wish to make things right"
"I'm tired", "You're so hard to handle"
"Then just leave me alone"
"You're not the person I used to know"
"You just don't know me well in the first place"
"I gave in so much yet you're still not satisfied"
"You'll only see areas where I am not giving in. You just feel that giving in to you is a 里所当让的事"
"I want you to voice out everything to me"
"You're not making me feel any better whenever I pour out my burdens/sadness to you"
"I'll be there"
"Why aren't you picking up my calls"
"I'm so hurt. So heart-broken"
"You brought it upon yourself"
"Why didn't you do this"
"Because you asked me not to"
"I don't wish to break up"
"Because you made me feel that you're not the one i'm looking for"
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Does any of these conversations sound familiar? I'm not implying that all of these conversations are the ones I've encountered. No please, my life isn't that drama afterall. I'm just leading a normal relationship with my Boyfriend, since 2011. No third parties, no unfaithfulness, nothing.
No, we didn't quarrel that leads me to this emotional post. Ever since we've walked pass the 1.5years stage, we don't call that quarrel. I call it couple friction that is inevitable. We will forget about friction after a good night sleep & forget about what happened. We will look forward to the days whereby we can meet up with each other. We will mimick our babies (Lumpy) voices just to cheer each other up. We are loving to be honest. I want to give in all to this r/s but... I'm just leading it day by day, enjoying the days with you. In the past I look forward to our future together. Now I don't even dare to think about how days will be like living with you.
Deep down, only I know what am I struggling with. It's not going to happen x1000
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